Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Hoggy Hogwarts!
by Heartless-are-squirrels
Summary: Rukia, Renji, Ichigo, Uryu, Orihime, Hitsugaya, and Ikkaku are going to Hogwarts, to protect them from the Espada that are coming! Read to find out who...
1. Chapter 1

**Me: Erm… I had this idea, so…. Yeah.**

**Ed: *snorts***

**Harry:…**

**Ulquiorra:…**

**Grimmjow: This is a bleach/hp cross. Obviously, unless you're an idiot.**

**Me: Shush! No one will read it if your rude!!**

**Grimmjow: *snorts* yeah, no one will read it ANYWAY....**

**Me: *growls, attacks***

**Hitsugaya: He's going to regret that...  
**

**Hermione: Harry Potter is owned by J. K. Rowling.**

**Ichigo: Bleach is owned by Tite Kubo. Thankfully…**

**Rukia: On to the story.**

**Me: PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

** Chapter 1**

_**In Hueco Mundo, the meeting room….**_

Ulquiorra was sitting in a meeting with Aizen. Along with Ichimaru Gin and Grimmjow.

"You three will have a new mission." Sosuke Aizen announced.

"Where to?" Grimmjow asked, looking somewhat annoyed.

"A school called 'Hogwarts'. We have made a alliance with one of their most feared wizards, Lord Voldemort." Aizen replied, drinking some tea.

"'Wizards'?" Grimmjow asked skeptically.

"Yes. You shall be posing as sixth year students."

"If you wish, Lord Aizen." Ulquiorra said stiffly. Gin was still grinning the grin we all know and hate/love.

"Excellent!! You will leave tonight, but first, you will need to wear gigais."

"What?! Why?!" Grimmjow demanded.

"So you will be able to be seen, and complete the mission." Aizen explained. Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, and Ichimaru all left, going to go get the gigais.

**_In the Soul Society....._**

The captain-commander had called several people to a meeting for a new mission. To be exact, Rukia Kutchki, Ikkaku Madarame, Toshiro Hitsugaya, and Renji Abarai.

"You all have a new assignment." The captain-commander announced, slowly. "You will be attending a school known as 'Hogwarts' disguised as sixth year students. Hogwarts is locating in the human place known as England."

"How long our these kids there for?!?!" Renji asked.

"Seven years. Please inform Kurosaki Ichigo, Orihime Inoue, and Uryu Ishida."

"WHAT?!?! WHY DOES THAT STRAWBERRY have to go to?!?!?" Renji demanded.

"Shut up Renji, it's the captain's orders." Rukia said, hitting him on the head.

"Fine...." Renji agreed, sulkily. Then they all shun-poed away to the world of the living.

_**In the world of the living......**_

Ichigo Kurosaki had just reached his bedroom. He was thankful for the peace when that peace was shattered by a voice that he remembered yelling at someone, who also yelled back at him. The voices were coming from his ceiling. Ichigo was not happy. He grit his teeth together, annoyed by the interruption, before yelling up at the 'shouting' ceiling':

"SHUT UP!!!!! I KNOW YOUR THERE!!!!" That was when Rukia, Renji, Hitsugaya, and Ikkaku fell from the ceiling. Rukia and Renji were still arguing over something, Ichigo couldn't tell what, though, Ikkaku stood up quickly, trying to regain his balance, and Hitsugaya, who was staring at everyone like they were complete and total idiots. Which they were, Ichigo agreed with the young, white-haired taicho.

"Why are you here?" Ichigo asked Hitsugaya.

"We are going to be going on a new mission, and unfortunately, you, Ishida, and Inoue are coming as well." Hitsugaya replied, in a voice that clearly said he REALLY did not want them coming. Ichigo snorted. Even though they had saved the Soul Society, Hitsugaya still didn't like them.

"Yeah, so come ON, Kurosaki." Renji growled.

"Where we going?!" Ichigo demanded, glaring at Renji.

"A school called 'Hogwarts'. It's in England."

"WHAT?!?! I CAN'T GO TO FREAKING ENGLAND!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO JUST DROP EVERYTHING AND GO?!?!"

"You can, and you WILL," Ikkaku growled.

"Yes." Hitsugaya said simply, sending a death glare to Ichigo, who shivered. Hitsugaya was apparently NOT in a good mood, because the temperature in the room dropped by several degrees. Everyone felt, and shivered slightly.

"I'll get Orihime and Uryu..." Rukia disappeared. Ichigo was still fuming, and kept glaring at Renji.

**At Orihime's house.....**

Inoue Orihime was humming to herself as she made a weird combination of food. She put it in the microwave to heat up, when there was a knock on her door.

"Coming!" Orihime shouted, as she skipped to the door. he opened it, and there stood Rukia Kutchki.

"Rukia!!" Orihime gasped, and hugged her. Rukia hugged her back, for a moment, before letting her go.

"Um....Orihime, there is a reason I'm here." She said officially. "We have a mission, and we were told to tell you, Uryu, and Ichigo that. We are going to a school in England, or New Britain, called 'Hogwarts'. We were asked to bring you because, a. you can stop Ichigo from getting into any fights we all KNOW he will regret later, b. you know him the best, and c. since Ichigo is a complete idiot with horrible luck, we will probably need your healing abilities to stop him from dying. Plus, it'll be fun!" Rukia added quickly, so as not to hurt the somewhat sensitive orange-haired girl. Orihime looked thoughtful for a second, like she was thinking about something, and Rukia tensed, hoping she hadn't hurt her feelings. Then Orihime asked Rukia:

"What type of food do they have there? When do we leave?" And Rukia laughed in relief, and answered her saying:

"I don't know what type of food, I've never been there!!! And we leave tonight. Urahara is giving us a lift."

"OK!! Cool, I can't wait to leave!" Orihime said cheerfully.

"I'll help you pack!" Rukia replied back to her, equally cheerful.

**At Uryu's house.....**

Renji had left(so that he could get away from the annoying Strawberry), and went to go get Uryu. Uryu was, of course, knitting/sewing something for someone. It was a kinda big order, so the person who had requested it had gone a while ago. Uryu was currently getting something to drink, when Renji barged in through the door, not even bothering to knock on the door.

"Don't you impatient shinigami know any _manners_?" Uryu said, somewhat impatiently. How ironic.

"Yo! We have a new mission!" Renji said loudly, ignoring Uryu's question. He grabbed him, and dragged him out the front door. Uryu, as I bet you can imagine, was not happy. Not at all.

"Let me go!!!" He yelled, struggling to get out of Renji's iron grip.

"Sure." Renji said, letting him go. "I forgot-you have to pack."Uryu gave him the death glare.

"Why do I have to pack?!"

"Because we're goin' to England. NOW GO PACK!!!!" Renji explained 'calmly'. Uryu glared, and stomped upstairs.

**~~15 minutes later~~**

"OK, let's go!!" Rukia and Renji said, at Orihime and Uryu's house. They all met up at Ichigo's house, and left for Diagon Alley!!

**Me: Was that...a good chapter?**

**Grimmjow: NO!!! IT SUCKED!!!  
**

**Me: *cries in my emo corner***

**Rena: Get in there....stupid body...**

**Shion: *laughs***

**Rukia: Rate and Review**

**Hitsugaya: Yeah! You got a long chapter, so REVIEW!!!!!!  
**


	2. Chapter 2: Diagon Alley

**Here is chapter two of Hoggy Hoggy Hogwarts! I started it when I was at the mall…for...3...hours…**

**Edo: In case you didn't know, she HATES the mall. Unlike Winry. Sadly.**

**Halle: EDO-CHAN'S SHOOOOOOORRRRT!!!**

**Edo: *grinds teeth together***

**Winry: *holds up wrench* SHE IS STILL RECOVERING!! DON'T YOU DARE HURT HER!!**

**Al: *restrains Edo***

**Ichigo: …**

**Me: Erm…they may be very, VERY slight IchiRuki in this chapter…I dunno.**

**Ichigo: Yaaaay… * sarcastic* anyway, onto the story.**

** CHAPTER 2:**

** DIAGON ALLEY: Meeting the famous Harry Potter**

Ichigo, Rukia, Orihime, Renji, Ikkaku, Hitsugaya, and Uryu somehow made it to Diagon Alley without killing each other, though Renji had tried to kill Ichigo. That did NOT end well for him, since Rukia got mad, and attacked him.

"Shut up, you two!" Uryu said, annoyed to Renji and Ichigo, who were arguing about something. Again.

"It's HIS fault!" Ichigo said angrily, pointing to Renji, who growled.

"No, it ISN'T you stupid strawberry, it's YOUR fault!!" Rukia sighed impatiently.

"Will you two just SHUT UP?!" She whacked them both on the head.

"We're already attracting a lot of attention as it is; we don't need you idiots causing even more people to stare at us." Hitsugaya said in a voice that said they needed to shut up _NOW, _or face the wrath of the child prodigy. Which, NOBODY wanted. It was true; people were looking at Renji's tattoos and red bright red hair, Ichigo's BRIGHT orange hair, and Hitsugaya's white hair, even though he looked very young.

"It's irritating the crap out of me." Ichigo growled, looking pissed off.

"Shut up, strawberry." Uryu said calmly. He was the ONLY calm one, since Rukia didn't look very happy, Orihime was still happy (about something, though no one knew what), and Renji, Ichigo, and Hitsugaya still looked pissed.

"Hey, where'd Ikkaku go?" Rukia asked suddenly.

"Who knows." Ichigo shrugged.

------------

Ikkaku was looking randomly at owls. He kind of wanted one, since they could peck the eyes out of anyone who wronged him.

"Are you new?" A boy with black hair asked him.

"What's it to you?!" Ikkaku snarled.

"Nothing! Just wondering…are you going to be a teacher?"

"Yeah. Physical defense." Ikkaku snorted.

"What school?" A girl with bushy brown hair asked politely.

"Hogwarts."

"That's where we go to! Is that a new class or something?" a bright red haired guy asked.

"Apparently." Ikkaku shrugged, unconcerned.

"What'll be about? I'm Ron, by the way. Ron Weasly." The red head-apparently named Ron-introduced.

"Fighting in case you lose your wand. Obviously." Ikkaku rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Y-yes! I'm Hermione Granger." Hermione said brightly.

"Harry Potter." Harry introduced last and warily. Ikkaku didn't change at all when he heard the name of the famous Boy-Who-Lived.

"Good. What year ya in?" He asked, not really looking like he cared.

"6th year." Hermione said immediately.

"Don't you know who Harry is?" Ron asked, shocked.

"Should I? Anyway, I don't care about some brat." Ikkaku said, bored. "By the way, look out for some....transfers in your year. Bye." Ikkaku walked out.

"That was odd." Hermione commented. Every time a wizard or witch found out who Harry was, there eyes went to his scar, and started stuttering. This guy... he had had no reaction at all.

"Yeah. Is that guy even a wizard?" Ron asked. Harry and Hermione shrugged.

"Who knows." Harry said.

--------------

Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, and Gin were walking around Diagon Alley in their gigais.

"Grimmjow, you get the books, Ulquiorra and I will get our wand and robes. We'll meet up later." Gin said with authority. Grimmjow looked annoyed.

"When will I get my wand and robes?!"

"After you get the wand and robes." Gin said.

"Yes, Gin-sama." Ulquiorra said emotionless.

And so they did!

---------------

**Me: Yeah. That's it.**

**Grimmjow: She's too lazy to write anymore, so here ya go.**

**Gin: Glad I got some screen time!**

**Lelouch: Grr....*whine whine whine...***

**Oggie: Shut up.**

**Rukia: She's lazy, in case you haven't notice.**

**Me: Heh....**

**Ichigo: Please review!**

**C2: How do you rate, anyway? Psycho has been wondering.**

**Me: Yeah! I don't get it!**

**Shirley: Well, anyway, enjoy the story.  
**


End file.
